An Open Diary Of A Narcisstic Creature

Mood          : Outrageous

Listening to: Spongebob Squarepants theme song

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Yea, so i’m one of those guys who still watch cartoons in his spare time, wanna fight about it?

Probably most of you didn’t wanna know the reason why i love cartoons but i’m gonna tell you the story anyway because i’m mean and i love torturing people with details.

So… way back then,  i was that kind of kid who was given quite a sufficient amount of toys, foods ( i was a little chubby back then), video games, and ofcourse a private tutor in math and english (… what a waste of money)… so what will you do with that huge amount of power and oppurtunity in your hand? Ofcourse abuse it. So yea…. i spent most of my weekends ending up watching cartoons and eating junkfoods… and studied… a lot.

It seems a perfect childhood memories right? Yes and No. Don’t get me wrong- I’m really grateful for all the oppurtinities that my parents had given to me. But, sometimes i wish i could just go out there, spend more time playing with my friends in the field… playing soccer or something.

Unfortunately i was not allowed to go out to play on my own when i was a kid. I must agree that its quite dangerous neighborhood out there. But even if i go out to play…i would find no friends out there. We could only see other in the school…. or in the mall….

So yea… i must say i’m one of the kids who never played soccer with his friends or never try to fly a kite out there…. The only sports that i had was swimming so growing up.. i had a fond memories of being out there in the swimming pool. Fortunately my preeteen years gets better.

Ehhh… enough about that…. Where were we? oh yea.. cartoons.

One of the thing that pissed me off… is… why do people keep banning cartoons?  

okay.. i agree.. some of them really are offensive. But banning harmless cartoons like pokemon or even children & toddler shows like teletubbies based on unreliable religious reason or based on the claim that it has sexually explicit content just way crossing the line.

Just when you thought it wouldn’t be weirder than that. Oh wait… it does…

Did you know that this following cartoon was also banned in China?:

 Spongebob: too gay to children…

Yes! Banned! Now, why would they do that? China has its own reason. According to yourtv.com Apparently they did that “not because of a particularly aggresive censor objected to the content of his show-rather, it was due to an edict which declared that only locally made cartoon could be broadcasted between 5pm-8pm.”

Okay that’s tolerable.

But wait there’s more… i found out that certain US religious cult also tried to ban this kind of cartoon…”arguing that cheerful sponge was a gay icon who promoted alternative lifesytle to children.”

Reminds me a lot to the article the other day that said that People banned the Simpsons in Switzerland. (Come to think of….. i think there’s no such thing as Switzerland… i mean… come on… have you ever met anyone from Switzerland?) because its not a wholesome “family” cartoons and it has been approved as giving a negative influence to children…… and yet they replaced it with a wholesome family show in the same timeslot where simpsons used to be… the “baywatch”

Sometimes I wonder if adult really is a rational being.

Well one of my friend asked me this question before. And this is what i’ve told her: Most of ‘em are completely junk. I spend 30 % of my computer’s memory  for my music files, 3% for  photos, 5% video, *cough* 105%  *cough* for porn*cough*, 60% for movies in .avi extension, and approximately 0.000001%  for school works. (Which is quite ironic because i bought my laptop in the first place for my school works).

The rest of the computer memories (i dunno how many percent left… i’m bad at math lately) are dedicated to the freewares. Anyway, I notice that my blog is lack of essence lately. So, i’ve decided to contribute something to the world by listing my favourite freewares…the good one that is….

Anyhow, In case you were wondering what kind of cool, efficient, and reliable freewares to download, i’ll help you to find one!

1. MySecretFolder^™

This freeware is practically anything that i need. Got a porn to hide? Or a secret document that is dedicated for your eyes only but is saved on a shared computer? Then this software is practically made for you. I’m not sure if it’s still a freeware though.

Anyway, it works like a charm. It would hide your private folder from other users. And yes, it does its job really well that nobody would even suspects that your secret folder exists! Just use the “hot key” to make your private document appear and put up some password to access it.

I’ve been using this program for years and i got my Mom’s trust that i’m a good guy ever since. Trust me, we both couldn’t be happier than this.

2. Freezer

sure there is no free lunch, but there’s a lot of cool freewares out there. Ever wanting to download this new hit songs (MP3 format) in the song sharing sites such as imeem, jiwa.fm, or Deezer but dont wanna spend any penny for downloading those songs? Well now its history. Freezer deactivates the anti-leeching programs that the sites mentioned above used. 

I love free stuff. So why bother buying a song in itunes when you can get the same song in the same quality? This is a must have software for all stingy people out there. And oh yeah as a closing speech for this software…please support the anti-piracy program. 

3. limewire

i dont think i have to mention this right?

But in case you never heard of it or if you are still living in a stone age le’mme introduce this software to you. Limewire is probably the most hated peer-to-peer program by all software producers. It let’s you to almost download anything that you could think of but here’s the catch…. the newest version of limewire now comes with a bunch of spyware. enjoy =)

4. TuneUp Utilites 2009

I would definitely recommend everyone to install this program. This software would do every dirty works for you, including: defragmenting your files, clean up useless data that fills up your memory, increasing your computer performance, and plus my personal favourite, it lets you custimize the log-on screen saver.

Also, This flawless program works well in vista. Oh yeah, i forgot to mention it’s not a freeware. But, you can try downloading it in demonoid.com

5. BuddyCheck

Okay, this is also not a freeware… but you can have a trial version of this software for 10 days. Okay… let’s see what makes this software worth $19.95

According to this website (okay, stop whining i’ll provide you a link: http://www.nuotex.com/buddycheck/index.php ) They claim that this software is able to detect if your friend is online eventhough he/she set it as invisible.

Yes, i know what you’re thinking. This software is pretty handy when you wanted to know if a particular person is trying to avoid you or trying to hide from you. (Yes, Chris i know that’s YOU)

6. Youtube Grabber

Youtube Grabber is the most easiest, handiest, and fastest application to download youtube videos. Do i need to say more? Just grab this freeware right now. 

7. TubeMaster Plus

Too good to be true. This tool is a combo of YouTube Grabber and Freezer, plus it it can convert your downloaded files in several formats. The only downside of having this software is NOT having it.

8. Can You Run It?

Not exactly a freeware or software either. But i gave you a rough picture on how this thing works. First, you have to be online on this site/program/whatever that is.

(again, here is the link: http://www.systemrequirementslab.com/referrer/srtest) and then it will offer its service by giving you a list of games that you would like to install on your computer. By now, i guess you have an idea what this thing is all about. Can you Run it? is a kind of site that will compare your PC specs with your intended game to play system requirements. It gives you a complete analysis and tells you if your computer is compatible with the game you are interested in.

Since this thing just use none or a little memory on your computer, just try it out while you’re still online.

9. hidemyass.com and cantbustme.com

Again, I know its not a freeware or a software. They are obviously websites link, but i just couldn’t resist to put it up on my list.

Can’t access Friendster or Myspace or any other sites that are blocked by your ISP or your company’s or school’s firewall? Well AUPians worry no more. The following websites would help you to surf this forbidden pleasure. mwahahahaha (Well, actually any other proxy service sites will do, but the following websites are the finest that i could find)

10. Pismo File Mount

I considered myself in the rank of the pathetic and inadequate gamer or noob in the gamer’s world. but still, that doesn’t hinder me to occassionally played a large file game.

Remember those games that come with a large files? They usually comes in a .iso extension instead of .zip. There are sometimes a necessity to create a virtual drive to install this kind of extension.

Professional gamers (if there such a term) are well acquinted with using Daemon Tool, PowerISO/MagicISO, or Alcohol software to mount this .iso extension. But little did they know that there is a more efficient software to mount those extension.

Here is where Pismo comes in. I don’t want to spill the details though… you have to find it out yourself as this kind of software is kin’da subjective from person to person.

***

Whew… that’s quite a lengthy article that i wrote today. I think i would never write another freeware review like this one. So enjoy it while i’m still in my sane mind. More random articles will come next… 

Last year while i’m still enjoying my summer vacation in Indonesia, for some unknown reason, i guess its merely because i’m bored perhaps, i found myself searching my mom’s cabinet and look for some interesting things in there or if i’m lucky some pocket money..

But i found some random hand-made birthday cards and some old notes of appreciation for my mom instead. It’s quite perplexing for me to find out those things… largely because i wondered why would my mom keeps those dirty and low- quality gifts that i thought everybody else would throw it straight to the garbage can.

Then i remembered, whether it’s valetine’s day or tuesday, i’d randomly scribbled her some words of admiration or simply a thanks on a piece of scratch paper.

 I think i haven’t done this in 8 years. Now, if i had enough money, i just hand her a greetings card and say “Enjoy!” …At least i still have these memories as momentos to remind myself that i once had a soul.

FINALLY!!! Geezz… I’ve been trying to access this Friendster blog for the last 48 hours, but some dudes in charge of this website won’t let me through. It really grinds my patience whenever I blithely tried to enter this site but rather than directing me to its homepage it shows these big bold letters that says “TEMPORARY MAINTENANCE” instead.

Anyway…

Today after I woke up, I felt this urge to write something… problem is… I don’t even know what I would like to write here. So I figure out to write anything that appears on my mind right away. So let’s see where this is going at…

ENJOY!

***

[Note: Let’s face it. You always skip the intro and will never read. Shame on you though, literacy kicks ass!]

So here’s my story.

2 weeks ago I developed quite a huge lump on my rear right ear. It became so red and swollen that I thought it would explode anytime soon. I’m not gonna give more details about this as I thought it would be sickening.

Anyhow my mom thought it was extremely dangerous (not to mention gross) to just pretend that that lump was never even existed. She hypothesized that this might be a form of tumor while my brother thought that I contacted this lump from unprotected sex; honestly, I prefer the latter hypothesis. But both my Mom and my bro urged me to go to my campus’ clinic right away.

Unaware of how disturbing my ear looks like, I ignored their concerns, proceeded to go to my class, and forgetting their advice. Fortunately it seems that nobody in the class notices my lump as they all seemed to be busy with his/her class…..hahahaha lucky me! =)

…..

…..

…..

……Ofcourse I was being sarcastic since no one would shut up about it. They pointed their ugly fingers at me and asked me if I’m aware that I have this swollen lump. Ofcourse I’m aware! Duh. Some of them even asked my permission to touch or even take a photograph of my ear. I instantly killed that kind of people right away with my two bladed swords. [yes, I always keep my swords in my purse. They’re really handy in times of need teehee!]

Ugh. I always hate it when people are staring at me. So I figure that I have to eliminate this lump to avoid my sudden popularity and went straight to the clinic that evening.

The doctor there diagnosed me with a streptocci? Strepctocceel? Infection….something like that and told me the three precautions I should take so that I could lose this nuisance: (1)She prescribed me with some antibiotics that I should take on religiously, (2)She told me not to touch/press/do anything stupid that I could think of to my lump and (3)told me to return for a follow up check up next week.

I followed her every precautions and advices, except that I occasionally forget to take my meds and toying around with my boil-like lump leading to its rather epic explosion. My ear proceeded to uncontrollably gushing out the blood and pus from the inside out….and…uhh… Well you get the picture.

[Moral of the story: Never trust AUP’s clinic… see what happen to me? I hope you guys learn from my experience. Xp]

Well folks, anyway I’m proud to tell you that at least I followed her last precaution… so I went back to the clinic last week on my lunch hour. After waiting for 2 hours for my turn, the nurse who worked there innocently told me that he lost my medical record and I have to get back that evening instead. I politely smile at him while cutting his throat with my sword and agree to return that evening.

I went back again that evening to find out that the nurse have already been replaced with a new one (I wondered what happen with the nurse that I see that afternoon…) and told me to sit down while she processed my medical record. She asked me my problem and I told her that I got a skin infection on my rear ear. She nodded in reply as if she understands what I’m saying and proceeded to check my body temperature, blood pressure, and my heart beats.

Confused of a series of unrelated tests that she performed on me, I asked her if it’s necessary for her to check my body temperature and stuff for a rather ordinary skin infection. She stared back at me and asked me if I’m a doctor or something. “No.” I replied. “Then shut up and let me do my work,” She replied.

I lose my patience and pulled out my sword and cut her head off.

“This is insane,” I muttered, “I’d rather go home.”

And so… I went home without seeing the doctor, not knowing whether I have some consequences that I might face if I didn’t visit her again or if I will still survive for breaking the rules. But well, that’s another story for another day.

THE END

***

WRITER’S NOTE: This is actually a satirical column, meaning some parts of the stories are true. As I mention before, I went for a follow-up check up as the doctor requested. Turns out that my medical record has been neglected and they have to process my medical record again for one and a half hour. They tickle my funny bones when I read their vision statement: to give a quality service. Hah!

….but other than that the whole story is just a fabrication.

The people in the clinic are actually approachable and nice…. However, they’re just a bit irresponsible.

I know what you’re thinking. No. Seriously, i do. You were probably wondering that maybe its too late to make a movie review about this kind of movie…

While that may be true, gi’mme a chance to explain the other side of the story before you…this would explain why i HAVE write this as soon as i get my hand on the computer…

So today, while i was peeing in the library’s toilet, i just happen to meet this friend of mine that i haven’t see for quite some time on the way out. And ofcourse we’ve talked a lot of things, i know that we’ve talked A LOT of things ’cuz forgot to wash my hand in the process…

Anyhow, one of the things that we’ve discussed was the movie that catches his attention lately and he said that he watched Batman on the DVD (poor guy, he wasn’t allowed to watch that in the cinema) and he said that it was wicked cool.

Then, with my child-like innocent i dare myself to ask what is the point of the story… well, i don’t get the story at all.

Big mistake.

Never question the quality of a movie to a movie geek. I did that and i learned it in a hard way. 

So suddenly his eyes flared up and said, “Nooblet, your ignorance is boundless. I will not even begin to dissect how utterly nonsensical and illogical that question is. All i will say is that you fail as a human being. You fail at life. Your face is a failure. If you had testicles, they’d also be failures. There you got poned. But then again, you set yourself up for it, so i can’t say i feel sorry for you. Now please die.”

So i did what he told me to and committed suicide. true story. I urinated that morning. 

….Anyway, since probably most of you still don’t get the connection between the story above with the reason why i HAVE to write my opinion about dark night right way, let’s just forget what i’m saying and proceed right away to my opinion about the movie.

So.. you see… the picture above depicted what i think about the movie. I just felt kin’da dumb when i watched the whole movie… and honestly, i just don’t get what people are ranting about… the movie is not that good. Well, Other than Joker and everything about him and his dialogue. (Oh yea… Joker is the only thing that spice up movie and probably makes up for the confusing and annoying plot. Seriously, if only Joker is a girl–i would probably asked him to marry me.) 

So in conclusion…While the message of the story is quite deep and makes you thought a lot about the true nature of human being. The plot are just TOO many and confusing… watching it will just make you more confused and stupid than ever.

***

Anyway, For those of you who haven’t watched the movie i’ll tell you a major spoiler: Bruce Wayne is gay. =)

Sayanora! Greeting from Japan!

Japan is sexy country with many wonderful qualities!

In Japan, we don’t eat with fork! Fork cost five hundred dollar!!! That is wonderfully crazy price for eating utensil! We eat with chopstick and are home to world’s greatest eater Takeru Kobayashi who is better eater than Joey Chestnut who has no honor.

FORK ARE STUPID AND BAD FOR EATING TSUNAKE!!!

This is island of Japan.

 Japan is country rich with tradition and cultures! In Japan, you wear no shoes in house or we cut your genitals off with ginzu knife. In Japan, to showing respect, you bow. The lower you bow, the more respect you show. If you bow so low that you split forehead on ground, you show a ton of honor!!!! ^_^_^

North Korea not sexy -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Japan is full of sex ^_^_^

Wonderful and strange sex o_O_o

Japan make more porn than America! O_o_O

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^

J-Rock and J-Pop music is better than any other music in the world our artists are sexy and make wonderful and super music that is good for the listening.

ADE CHAI!!! Sushi-go-round is most wonderful and mystical wonder of the world. Our Sumos are unstoppable. A Japan Sumo can stop an M-1 tank with his belly!!!!! O_O

GODZILLA!!!!!!!!!!! -_-_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

***

God. I don’t know what i was thinking. but hey! its a pretty readable article after all…. anyway if you like to see more of these, well, needless to say, click this link! 

I saw several posts in AUP’s bulletin board that invites the students to join their taekwondo training program for free.

Now,  if AUP offers something for free i think there must be a catch.

I repeat, there must be a catch.

But since i’m really NOT interested in joining this program AND finding out what the catch is… i’m just gonna share my opinion about what i think about this martial arts training program…

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so instead of voicing my opinion in words… These picture would practically summarize what i think:

originally written on OCT 08, 5:23 PM

So i was slacking off and continuing my morbidly-cancer-and-other-scary- diseases-developing lifestyle today…and i was wondering and reminisce all the things that i have done this last semester… Apparently, nothing so far has impressed and would stay in my memory… so i’ve decided to go blogging about some random things…. again…

And this thought strikes me…

Well i  was doing my research the other day in my biochem class about a disease named “Kuru”. It’s one of the world’s rarest disease that is caused by prion and blah blah… (thank me for saving you from some boring medical jargon)…  and in order for you to catch it, you have to travel to Papua New Guinea and find one of the last remaining infected person and eats his/her brain. So yea… i was wondering to write an article about Kuru… but in completely unrelated twist of thought i’ve decided to blog about some ethical issues concerning cannibalism..

Is it wrong to want to see what people taste like? I mean, I was watching Hannibal the other day and I thought to myself “I wonder what that guy’s brain tasted like.” In any case, it was probably high in protein and probably a good source of vitamins. But we’ll never know, because of “Society” and all the “Norms”.

Now, apparently, eating people is bad, and when I say “bad”, I mean it’s morally wrong. I don’t know who made morals, but that just the way it is. I mean, people eat bad food all the time. Like cheeseburgers. Those things destroy your insides. And fried food. Fried food is low in vitamins, but an excellent dietary source of death. People also drink soda pop. Now, scientists have done studies that show that soda is loaded with sugar. For example, if you were to fill a mug with Coca-Cola and drop a medium-sized rabbit into it, the rabbit would dissolve within about 4 minutes.

But cannibalism is bad for a different reason. The reason for it is because people don’t except it as a humane practice. I mean, come on. If people die, they don’t need their bodies anymore. You see where I’m going with this?

But no, it’s taboo (I love the word ‘taboo’) to even consider doing something that would defile a body, let alone eat one. But lots of intelligent animals eat their own kind, such as dogs, coyotes, pigs, rats and I think certain breeds of weasels. There are tribes of people living in South America who eat people. These tribes are fine with this. They couldn’t be happier.

Anyhow, I intended to be funny, but I need to stop writing this because I’m starting to gross myself out. Do yourself a favor and don’t consider anything I just wrote.

2 things bugged me the most right now….:

The first one is the fact that my mom likes to read any article that appealed to her out loud… Some are actually quite readable… but most are just plain crap…but can’t blame her… i got my fault too… i was responsible for introducing her to the world of internet…

The second one is the shitty commercial that is repeated over and over in TV… I think it’s about some disinfectant spray about Lysol or something… Anyway… it repeatedly states that “…FACT: your cutting board is dirtier than your toilet seat.”

Oh… c’mon! if you happen to be fond of watching a discovery channel program called mythbuster than you know that indeed… among all rooms in your house, your CR happens to be the cleanest room of all rooms… I gotta admit that the way they presented the fact in that commercial is quite clever. But if you know what it feels like to live with someone who obsessively lives in cleanliness… than that commercial would spark your worst nightmare.

Anyway… i happen to googling some more information about some random and useless fact… and i happen to find some more disgusting facts.

I recommended you guys to first watch that youtube video with the title popularly known as “two girls, one cup” before reading the rest of this article or at least just provide a cheap grocery bag beside you to make things handy… you know.. just in case you would throw up… 

And oh yeah… i don’t recommend those people with OCD or if you happen to be hypochondriac to read this.

So.. okay here it goes… Do you know that:

1. Almost all humans have Pin-worms in their colons. Most don’t ever notice these tiny parasites unless they have an unusually high amount. You can find out if you have a high amount by having someone gently touch around your anal area with Scotch Tape while you sleep, this is when they are most active. The worms will stick to the tape and you should be able to see them.
2. On a daily average you will inhale 1 liter of others anal gasses.
3. An average person will consume 12 pubic hairs in their fast food annually
4. Enjoy a nice cup of yogurt? You might want to double check the ingredients again. Some yogurts and jelly sweets contain beef or pork gelatin.
5. Through contact with door knobs, counter tops, and other daily objects your hand will come in contact with 15 penises a day
6. In one study, diarrhea-inducing E.coli was found on 10 percent of coffee mugs
7. Many children can vomit at will, and some child psychologists say the best way to stop a child from doing this for attention is to make the child eat it afterward.
8. The germs present in human feces can pass through up to ten layers of toilet paper.
9.  If your body’s natural defenses failed, the bacteria in your gut would consume you within 48 hours, literally eating you from the inside out.
10.  The nose drips into the back of the mouth and you may get mucus mixed with saliva when kissing.

 ….Ugh…Well, i’m off to go now… happy barfing everyone!